okay seriously if you’re in a relationship or even a friendship and you find yourself spending more time crying out of sadness or arguing with them, leave them. i don’t care if they’re a modern day aphrodite/adonis or a gift bestowed upon you by the gods. toxic people are dangerous and i highly advise cutting them out of your life and finding someone who makes you laugh until you snort your drink out your nose instead.
I hate when the media makes The Hunger Games look like a battle for love. Get your bullshit fantasies away. This is about murder, over powered government, and a girl trying to change the way things are. News flash not every girls fantasy is to find true love.
the irony here is that our media is doing exactly what the Capitol did in the books; downplaying the murder, focusing on the bullshit love story
it’s always like: MEGABLAST ULTRA LASH SUPER INTENSE BLACKEST BLACK WITH OUR BRAND NEW FORMULA ENGINEERED FROM REGENERATIVE DNA OF LIZARDS AND COMES WITH TOP SECRET ADVANCED WAND TECHNOLOGY DESIGNED BY NASA
So, a Quidditch match at Hogwarts, right? Slytherin vs Gryffindor (yeah yeah obvious, I know shut up). And all of a sudden there’s this STAMP STAMP CLAP from the Gryffindor stand and all the Muggle-borns start singing/screaming WE WILL ROCK YOU across the pitch towards the Slytherins. And then there’s this little pause while the Muggle-born Slytherins (you know those fuckers are there, don’t deny it) have a really speedy chat, and then they retaliate with WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!
and the wizards are just standing there like what the fuck is going on??
Kids who choose to sit quietly in the back corner of the room by themselves usually have a reason for that and that’s usually because they like to work by themselves and i have never met anyone whose reason is “because I want the teachers to ask me awkward questions and try to get me involved in class”
steve, bucky and sam going out for early-morning jogs. every time steve and bucky pass sam, they yell “ON YOUR LEFT” and “ON YOUR RIGHT” respectively. sam gets increasingly frustrated. but after a while, steve and bucky realise they haven’t passed sam again, and he’s nowhere to be seen. and they start to get worried, fearing the worst, until suddenly they hear a shout “ON YOUR ABOVE, ASSHOLES” as sam swoops overhead, leaving them behind
a week after your truck gets stolen out of the goddamn mall parking lot, you get a knock on the door and there’s fucking Captain America standing there. Says he’s here about your goddamn truck. And for a moment you wonder if he started working for the police now that Shield took a dive, but you don’t say so, you just nod when he describes your truck to you, license plate number, make, model and color, all to a tee.
And then the weirdest thing happens (weirder than Captain America just showing up at your front door). Captain America starts looking bashful. And then he tells you your truck was lost ‘in the line of duty’. You must still look a little awestruck because he elaborates; he’s the one who took your truck.
Captain America fucking stole your goddamn truck out of the goddamn mall parking lot.
And he’s going to pay for a new one. And he’s very, very sorry.
Was anyone else a little bit disappointed that the kick ass Lady Counsel Member turned out to be Natasha? Still love Natasha, but for a few glorious seconds, it was awesome to see an older woman come out of nowhere to kick ass.
hello this is a text post in support of bucky barnes: accidental hipster, who wears steve’s huge plaid button-downs over natasha’s too-tight jeans and a pair of old doc martens sam was going to donate to goodwill, because those are the clothes that are around and who gives a shit? bucky barnes: accidental hipster, who goes out in steve’s plastic framed on-the-run glasses because he misses the eye protection his googles used to provide. bucky barnes: accidental hipster, who buys vinyl because he was born in 1917 and drinks his coffee black for the same reason. BUCKY BARNES: ACCIDENTAL HIPSTER. that’s all thank you goodbye
I was at the mall today and overheard this dude talking to two lesbian chicks. I hear him ask, “So which one of you is the guy in your relationship?” And the one girl looks into her pants and says, “It’s not me. How bout you? Are you hiding a dick in there?” Then her girlfriend looks in her pants and says, “Nope, I’m not.” Then the first chick looks at the dude and says, “Hmmm, guess that’s why we are lesbians.” And then I lost my shit.
what if the reason nobody can tell fred and george apart is because they really are interchangeable
not in a ~it doesn’t matter~ way but like. molly and arthur used to worry that fred and george might turn out to be squibs because they weren’t doing any accidental magic as children, but they were, THEY TOTALLY WERE, it just wasn’t anything flashy, instead they were just like idly switching bodies all the time
and like sometimes it doesn’t make much of a difference, whatever, wake up in the opposite bed you went to sleep in, but it gets like dangerous and weird if you’re on a broom or in the pond or letting your mum teach you to cook or trying to be mad stealth, so for a long long time everybody presumes they’re clumsy maybe-squibs and that they’re doing their twin lying thing when they try to explain what’s going on, so they learn to handle the issue their ownselves
they just. don’t go anywhere without the other. they start each day deciding which body is going to be which (because at this point they really don’t know which body is technically fred and which is technically george), and they learn to reorient FAST when they switch, and what things set them off, and eventually they learn how to act like nothing’s up even when one of them’s in the air and one’s on the ground or whatever, and then they burn past that til they can finish each other’s sentences — til they can switch midsentence — til they can play beater together — til they can switch in a split second in the middle of a game — til there’s room for other kinds of accidental magic to start showing up
at hogwarts they keep each other awake in history of magic by switching back and forth. in potions they take turns brewing and keeping lookout for the slytherins. in transfiguration and charms they keep their grades up because one of them will always get a spell right on the first try so they switch and make it look like both of them do and then they practice on their own later in private. it keeps the mystery alive.
at first they thought lee was just a lucky guesser but no, lee can always tell one twin from another twin — it’s not exactly telling fred from george, because while they are definitely two distinct personalities neither one of them feels like fred all the time or george all the time — but lee knows who he argued with yesterday or who he lent his notes to or who’s best to ask for help in astronomy and who’s best at runes.
the weasleys are pretty bad at it for the longest time, but then bill comes home from his first year cursebreaking and he can tell, and over a holiday he teaches his trick to charlie so charlie can tell. alicia and katie and angelina can tell. the twins honestly don’t know if oliver can tell or not; so long as they’re doing what they’re supposed to on the quidditch pitch he doesn’t really care about much else. harry can tell. luna can tell. tonks can tell.
the problem is there’s no way for this to end happily
dragons hoard gold and treasure but as far as i can tell they have no use for it as actual currency. dragons dont really need material wealth because they can do whatever they want and no one will sell anything to a dragon (a dragon can just take whatever they want anyway)
possible theories for why dragons hoard treasure:
like many species of birds, dragons are instinctually attracted to shiny objects for no other reason except to attract a mate with their beautiful nest
their favorite cartoon is scrooge mcduck
dragons just enjoy killing/eating rich kings, landowners, aristocrats etc.
they intentionally manipulate the global economy by withholding material wealth from the market
in the movie a little boy recognises steve at the captain america exhibit. it’s my headcanon that a little girl recognises bucky when he goes to the smithsonian exhibit to find out who he really is
because little girls have heroes too
"You should tie your hair back," a little girl with pitch-black hair says to the Winter Soldier. He stares down at her, silent, but she continues undeterred. "Mommy says that we need to have our hair tied back or we’ll trip over things because we can’t see. She makes me wear these—" She displays her wrist, which is encircled by a rainbow of different hair bands. "—because mine keep falling out. You can’t fight evil if you can’t see it. I want to be a police officer when I grow up. Are you a…"
She trails off, her eyes steadily getting bigger. They dart to the large digital image of James Buchanan Barnes, then back to his face. The Winter Soldier’s eyes dart, too, over the exits and the crowd and the girl’s distracted mother—attempting to corral three other black-haired children—before landing back on the girl’s face, where an improbable grin has begun to grow.
"I knew it," she whispers.
The Winter Soldier blinks down at her, thrown off by the delight in her expression. No one is ever happy to see the Soldier.
The girl reins in her wide grin and does her own scan of the crowd. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell. People can’t handle the truth. But I can.” She turns her shining eyes back to the Soldier.
Slowly, very slowly, the Soldier reaches out with hands that have broken, maimed, strangled, shot, stabbed, and ripped apart human flesh. His voice creaks out of him, rusty with disuse. “Can I have a hair tie?”
Without taking her eyes off him, the girl rolls a light blue one out of the rainbow and hands it over.